What I need ...

... is one of these bad boys:

Or this, which came out a few years earlier:

I’d just like to know who’s infringing on whom. I’ve already studied the relationship between increasing Viagra usage and decreasing macho ibérico lovage, so this might be an interesting investigation topic. Who's stealing whose humor? In this case I will assume, being an arrogant American, that somebody stole this idea from the American original. The Keledén* ad is a somewhat crappier looking, pretty much word-for-word copy of Fukitol's. Fukitol should file an infringement lawsuit against Spanish imposter Keledén.

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Here’s a couple links someone sent me with jokes in MP3 format from late Barcelonan comedian Eugenio. Here and here.

And here’s a link to my translated version of his "do you know why the monkey put his balls in my glass of whiskey" joke.

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* "Keledén" comes from "Que le den", or "que le den por culo", which translated means "Up his ass". In colloquial English I think this would best be translated as "Fuck 'em".