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Monday, July 10, 2006

El chulo de los quesos, revealed!

What drew my attention to this poster, I don’t know.

But my poor eyes lingered on it just long enough to realize that the food-server in this poster is the very same asshole who refused to serve me the other day in el Mercat de Santa Caterina.

That’s right, this chulo de los quesos, or, the pimp of the cheeses, flat out refused to serve me the other day. Instead, he continued talking to his buddy the fishmonger and folded his arms in front of himself, somewhat reminiscent of Mussolini in this shot:

I had forgotten about this jackass until this weekend when I had the misfortune of coming across that poster for the Generalitat while exiting the metro. First a fleeting glance, then a double-take and I realized the chulo de los quesos was also a male model for the Catalan government! So this guy thinks he’s hot shit because he’s a male model! And, on top of that, for the Generalitat, in a poster where he plays himself! The silly little pimp of the cheeses!

Well, you might think that’s the end of this tragi-comic affair, but alas, ‘tis not.

Last Saturday, those of you lucky enough to be living in Spain were treated to a cinematic masterpiece, Roadhouse, on Antena 3.You ask yourself, what does this have to do with the chulo de los quesos? Well, take a look for yourself:

Close-up: Chulo de los Quesos & Swayze, or the same person?

The resemblance is striking, to say the least. Could the chulo de los quesos actually be Patrick Swayze? Perhaps he’s studying for a role in an epic movie about cheese-cutting?

Further research on the internet brought me to this [WARNING: the following link contains a disturbing ass shot, right before a horrific scene of Swayze doing tai-chi next to a lake]:

Roadhouse Redux on youtube.

See for yourself. Then go see my friend the chulo de los quesos at the Mercat de Santa Caterina and tell him guirilandia is on to him.

Moltes gracies.

§

An open letter to chulo de los quesos:

Chulo de los quesos,

I hereby challenge you to a sardana showdown, next Sunday in the Plaça de la Catedral. You may have some dirty dancing skills, but I’ll show you who’s boss with the sardana.

An open letter to the Generalitat de Catalunya:

Generalitat,

That is blatantly false advertising. El chulo de los quesos is a cheese server, not a jamon server. Not only that, but he is a lazy bastard to whom the word servicio means absolutely nada.