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Friday, April 07, 2006

Posts aleatorios

The Rant

I would have written more this week, but work has been a nightmare. We are understaffed and overloaded. I’m surprised I’ve written anything at all … to top it off, one of my coworkers somehow got U2 and Oasis on her Itunes. I truly detest those two bands. With a passion. Sometimes this place is unbearable.

The You Won’t Believe This post

In the most daring method acting since Robert Dinero’s portrayal of Jake LaMotta in Raging Bull, Tom Cruise gains 80 pounds, goes bald and grows a wispy mustache in … Torrente

I’m surprised it took this long for Hollywood to pick up on the Torrente franchise. I hope they don’t water it down, but I wouldn’t be surprised. There’s always some special interest group ready to make a fuss.

The great thing about Torrente is he offends everybody … I also learned Spanish with Torrente, so I’m in debt to him.

I finally saw Torrente 3: el Protector a couple months ago. One night I bought the DVD off a Chinese lady who was selling pirated movies for 5 euros, and I gotta admit, they were 5 euros well spent. It’s the best Spanish movie I’ve seen all year. Highlight of the movie: Torrente’s nightmare about FC Barcelona. It’s a shame the vastly overrated La vida secreta de las palabras swept the Goyas - and this gem was totally ignored. The Goyas, like the Oscars, are judged by spineless fools on payola. They’re a total joke and even being associated with these organizations, in my opinion, totally ruins your credibility.

But, I’m thinking Torrente could only be played by Santiago Segura. If the Hollywood bigwigs are smart (not likely, but I’m hoping they’ll have a lapse) they’ll get Santiago Segura to do Torrente goes to America. They could have him hunt down the Mexican Goatsucker in Tijuana and San Diego – and make an homage to one of my all time favorite movies, Touch of Evil. Torrente is, come to think of it, the Spanish version of Orson Welles’ gloriously corrupt cop, Hank Quinlan, minus the brains and three times the libido.

And finally, A Doubt

Speaking (writing?) of credibility, a friend of mine said he’d invest in a Guirilandia T-shirt line if I decided to start one (suddenly Guirilandia is everywhere. Somebody even bought Guirilandia.com, the jerks, so I had to settle for gurilandia.net). So I considered making T-shirts, but decided not to for credibility reasons.

What credibility? What little I have. I would consider selling guirilandia bikinis, however. Or Guirilandia edible panties. There … now I’ve definitely lost all credibility.

§

That’s it. No more randomness. I’m off to see some freaks now.