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Thursday, November 10, 2005

Crack down

So, I complained all summer long about guiris ruining Barcelona. And what a summer it was! I've never seen so many drunks and homeless people on calle Ferran, in placa Real, weaving through placa Catalunya at 3 in the morning.

Then there were the riots in Gracia, drunk Germans in Mallorca as usual, hooligans in Lloret.

Joan Clos had to stop doing the lambada with Carlinhos Brown and start cracking down (and on a side note, can someone please explain the Carlinhos Brown phenomena to me? How can music that's so irritating be so popular?). Super Clos said enough is enough, proposed some laws which many found a little too stringent.

After over 600 proposed amendments and 144 accepted, some of the clauses are still ambiguous. And here are some things that have been taken out (therefore still permissible after January 1st):

You can’t piss, but you can vomit because it is an “uncontrollable" act.

You can go nude in public.

Solicit prostitutes on the street (depends). But, it is “especially” against this kind of activity if it is within 200 meters of a school.*

Here's a citizen from today's 20minutes, who eloquently asks:

¿Y qué pasaría si pido limosna para pagarme una prostituta que está a 201 metros de un colegio, para luego desnudarnos los dos en la calle y vomitarla encima? De risa.

And what would happen if I beg for change to pay for a prostitute that's 201 meters from a school, so later we can strip each other in the street and throw up on each other?

De Risa, my friend, mi amigo, that would be performance art. I would pay to see that. And so would the ayuntamiento, for that matter, in the name of "cultura".


* It’s logical that you don't want people pissing in the streets. But what if there are no bathrooms to go to?

Prostitutes. Unsightly and corrupting to minors. Let's arrest them. But wait, could they be victims of the mafia? Should we really punish them? The clients? Because, are people ever going to stop thinking about sex?

Being nude in the streets. Why the hell not? I thought the whole Spencer Tunic thing was stupid, but doing the tripod on the way to work, topless tapas bars … sounds good to me.